Dear Internet: Please stop trying to date me.

16 May

If this had happened once, I wouldn’t say anything. Not twice, even. I know this because it has happened way more than once or twice. This is important, though. Please listen up.

Guys and gals of Twitter and whatever else: I’m not going to be your girlfriend.

Is my relationship status necessarily public information? No. Does that (or anything) mean I’m secretly looking for you, someone I interact with occasionally on Twitter, to step in and be the one to experience my Icy Feet of Doom? No.

No one person should feel like this is directed at him/her. We reached a critical mass of this type of attention this week and something had to be said. Now let’s just carry on like normal.

I love you guys. I really do. The chances of it ever being “let’s hop on a plane and lay entwined together on a private beach in the Caribbean” love? Very slim. It’s not worth your hopes.


2 Responses to “Dear Internet: Please stop trying to date me.”

  1. Joe Klemmer May 17, 2011 at 12:24 pm #

    Oh man… Now I feel twice as foolish. As I tried to explain, I was just the equivalent of drunk tweeting. That’s what happens when you let brain damaged geeks have access to technology after 1 am. I should put something about that in my profile…

    “All tweets sent by me after midnight (EST5EDT) are to be considered non-sequitur and to be ignored at all cost.”

    • Jess May 17, 2011 at 12:32 pm #

      You shouldn’t. Like I said in the post, this wasn’t directed at any one person. It happens a lot.

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